So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
