I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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