That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
