You really coming over, don't trick.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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