I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
