He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
