Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I hope mine doesn't look like that
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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