roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
