plz talk dirty to me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
