So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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