I am spending my child support on dildos
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
