You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Found the puke drawer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
