I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
