i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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