I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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