Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just found a bag of teeth...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
