Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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