whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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