So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we're so committed to being not committed
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
