He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
