He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize