i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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