there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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