how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
