So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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