Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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