He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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