it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
