He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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