quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize