I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
