Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
