so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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