You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
