I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
