thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
is that a dick in a sweater?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
