Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
