If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
