Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
