Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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