I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
that's an acceptable place to lick
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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