The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
