I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
