Will you blow on my dice?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
