With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
