considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
