So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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