dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I party with great urgency now.
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