I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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