There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
