I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
