somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
