Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
