So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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