HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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